11 Funny But True Quotes To Inspire Your Funny Bone

By | August 6, 2014

Funny But True Quotes

1
“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.”

ALBERT EINSTEIN

This is certainly true. There are a lot of stupid people because everyone is stupid to something. A guy who is a genius at Math may be horrible at Linguistics, and a person who’s a savant at playing the piano may be the worst cook ever. What we should take from this, however, is that it’s better to know we are stupid at something than to pretend we know something we truly don’t, so that we can improve at it and prevent ourselves from life threatening mistakes or just extraordinarily embarrassing situations like this.
Related: 19 Funny Inspirational Quotes to Laugh Your Way to Self Improvement

2
“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”

MAE WEST

Though I certainly won’t mind if you can have a second shot at it. Imagine how awesome that would be if you could be reborn a baby with all your memory intact. I would be a total boss in addition! And subtraction! I would certainly skip the silly hairdo phase. A part of me dies whenever I see my childhood pictures.

3
“The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.”

JANE AUSTEN

Well I don’t necessarily think they are stupid. Jane Austen can be so mean sometimes. If you don’t read books you are certainly missing out. The best director and cinematographer is your own imagination.

4
“Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.”

PAUL TERRY

It’s okay to be lazy sometimes. There will come a day that motivation will sweep you off your feet like Gustavo on a unicorn. Don’t be too hard on yourself if you don’t achieve your goals, but don’t give up either. Keep trying and trying just like this cute little furball.

5
“Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.”

GROUCHO MARX

I see what you did there. I don’t know though, dogs are pretty cool in my book. See what I did there.

6
“Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.”

CRISS JAMI

Don’t be the annoying friend or partner who keeps pushing the other to “be better.” Maybe they simply like how they are. Even though it’s good to try and bring out the best in each other, it’s best to let everyone be themselves. Live and let live.

7
“A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.”

WINSTON CHURCHILL

Let’s be frank. Lies are pretty sweet. You get to trick people, you get to receive things otherwise don’t deserve. You can manipulate people into doing things they otherwise won’t do all just because you lied. But you have to ask yourself – is it really worth living a lie. Because one of the worst things about lying is somewhere down the road you start believing it yourself, and that’s when you become truly lost. I know, that’s some deep stuff right there.

Related: 12 Meaningful Love Song Quotes That Talk to Your Soul

8
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”

CHARLES M. SCHULZ

Seriously, chocolate is probably one of the best inventions ever. Second to the The Dogbrella!

9
“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”

STEVE MARTIN

They always say think outside the box. Well then sometimes its better to think inside the box, especially when thinking outside the box becomes the inside the box thinking. But seriously though, just relax dude, its just a box.

10
“Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.”

CHARLES BUKOWSKI

None of us are perfect. That’s what makes us human. So don’t try to be a perfect person. Accept your flaws and celebrate your successes and move on. In a way it makes living so much sweeter. If everything was simply given to you, life would be empty and meaningless. Be with people who are positive and supportive and find your purpose, live and go insanely in love with it.

11
“If my life wasn’t funny it would just be true, and that is unacceptable.”

CARRIE FISHER

Life without humor is a horrible horrible life. Just relax, hang out and chuckle once in a while at your own cheesy jokes. It totally works. I know because I do it all the time. And it TOTALLY works. Also you might get lucky once in a while and actually crack a funny joke.


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